Throughout my life I have failed. I have failed so many times, in so many different ways. Often, it seemed like the things that I struggled with came so easily to others.
There can be immense pressure to succeed. To live up to the expectations of others and ourselves. Whenever something doesn’t work, or we think it might not work, we create anxiety and stress about being labeled as a failure.
For most of my life I lived with that label. Dwelling on my failures and replaying every mistake in agonizing detail. What a fool I had been. How stupid was I. The fear of failure was so great that I hid, scared to take risks because that might lead to yet another disappointment. Despite all the heart ache and self doubt I never gave up. Not because I was brave or fearless, but because doing so meant giving up on life.
Eventually, I began to realize that my failures do not define me, they make me stronger. That our failures do not make us a failure. That to fail is to be human and to feel the pain of failure is to be alive. Only by letting go of the pain are we able to take pride in our efforts, even if they do not result in the outcome we are hoping for.
I’m sharing this because I want you to know that we all struggle, that this is part of life, and to say… you are not a failure.
A few weeks ago, I met this amazing human, Priscila, who is also from El Salvador 🇸🇻 and is working at the summer camp I went to for 14 years. I’m not entirely sure why but there's something about knowing someone from El Salvador is working at camp that puts a huge smile on my face.
I was only 16 when I met my birth family and didn’t yet understand the long-lasting impact that event would have on my life. So, as I look back at the past 20 years or so, I think about what advice I might give my younger self.
I often get asked for advice on searching for your birth family, so I created this page to share all of the information I have on the subject.
